Co-worker hijinks

I figured it would be fun (& cathartic!) to list the curious humans I’ve crossed paths with over my years of working in Australia and overseas.

In reality, these people exist in every organisation. You will agree if you have spent years working for someone other than yourself (although if you employ staff, well then…)

Have you worked with (or are currently working with) some/all of them? Or maybe, YOU are in fact one of these personalities yourself?

Of course, there’s always exceptions to the rule.

Sometimes one or more of the below personality traits can belong to a single person. Oh, that makes it so much more fun, doesn’ it? 😉

Here goes!

• The ‘It’s not my job’ shirker - will do anything and everything to get OUT of doing work.

• The ‘I’m not interested in learning anything new’ - refuses to move with the times, a mossback. Digging their heels in whenever a ‘change’ in systems or processes is introduced. Always fighting progress.

• The ‘lazy one’ - will ONLY do the bare minimum, anything else is always passed on to someone else in their team. If you object or try to challenge them, they cry blue murder.

• The ‘gossip’ - everyone’s business is theirs; very sly at obtaining “information” from sometimes unsuspecting co-workers; their affable demeanor acts as a camouflage.

• The ‘toxic positive’ - anything and everything is always “good” or “wonderful”. They will rarely be honest about toxicity including the worst company culture. Will always find something to be “positive” about.

• The ‘people pleaser’ - always saying “yes” to helping co-workers despite their already bulging workload. Taking on all the slack from the “lazy” ones. Too afraid to say “no” to anyone but constantly complaining about how everyone is using them.

• The ‘manager’ - need I say more? Extremely talented at delegating their work. Skilled at writing sickly sweet emails requesting assistance. Some shoot off an email merely requesting that you “action” a ton of tasks, which are almost always part of their own workload. D-e-l-e-g-a-t-e, is their mantra!

• The ‘I love the sound of my own voice’ - always the L-O-U-D-E-S-T, everywhere you go! Always the first to offer their “expert” opinion (which is usually long-winded), especially in meetings. These ones always have the “answer”.

• The ‘joker’ - always making everyone laugh and takes pride in their oh so clever ‘sense of humour’. Never a dull moment when this one is around - funny or not, they tend to be the life of any party.

• The ‘one who favours’ - always promoting their “favourites” and assisting them with climbing the ladder. Favouritism at its best!

The ‘Princess’ at work

• The ‘Princess’ - Takes great pride in their appearance and brings out their finest for special meetings and/or events. Always delegating their work to admins (administrative staff) and looking down their nose at anyone in this role. They are “too good” for menial tasks and utterly conceited, hence the coined term, “Princess”.

• The ‘micro manager’ - a control freak. Cannot let anyone in their team get on with their job; all work must pass through this one. There is no freedom working with this one, only stress headaches.

• The ‘constant grump’ - nothing ever pleases them, there’s always a problem for every solution with this one. Scares away most and can be vicious, so best keep your distance.

• The ‘clock watcher’ - always waiting for the “break”, be it morning tea, afternoon tea, lunch or going home time, this one’s mind is rarely on the job.

• The ‘foul-mouthed’ - swearing at every turn and generally loud and raucous. Difficult to get much out of this one, except swear words and negativity.

• The ‘know-it-all’ - I know everything and I will display my “expert knowledge” at every turn person. Tiresome and arrogant, not a note of modesty in sight.

• The ‘social butterfly’ - always trying to organise “events” and get freebies in the process. Flits from person to person at company functions, laughing & flirting while trying to charm everyone around.

• The ‘narcissistic bully’ - generally someone in authority who enjoys and gets immense satisfaction from harassing their staff. Picks on the vulnerable or anyone that threatens their position.

• The ‘everyone’s friend chatty Cathy’ - you will find this one always chatting the hind legs off someone. Divulging their whole life story (& then some!) to anyone they meet.

• The ‘I’m so handsome all women love me’ guy - a total flirt and ladies man. Loves the women and is a charmer. Will do “favours” for those he takes a shine to.

Have I forgotten anyone? You tell me🤓

🎯Would love to hear about your experiences too. Feel free to share your own corporate hijinks!

---

If you have read this far and this post has resonated with you in some way (I wouldn’t ask for anything less), please do hit that ‘Like’ icon.

This small action of yours will support the evolution of my writing while at the same time make my work more visible to other Substack readers (due to how the algorithm works).

I sincerely thank you in advance 💜

Gossip Central

The ‘clock watcher’